This is my body you have given me to get thru this physical world
It has worked durn well for almost 7 decades
I present to you as I am… old, frail & transgender
You know I did my best to present genuinely as I moved thru life
Born into a man’s body with a woman’s spirit struggling for presence
Endless consultants, Social workers, religious ppl, & psychiatrists all sounded in
But yet they only saw me thru a veil… limited by what I could share
Mostly I shielded anything that seemed corrupt or wrong within
My fear of reprimand was strong… well beaten into me
So I carefully walked among the ruins of my life, trying to make sense
I lived as a man for ages… time after time failing to perform the demands
Later in life I became less inhibited in private, experimenting with my femininity
It fit good but I would blank out my feminine self after doing my thing
I remember having major Freudian slips in public relative to my secret life
my efforts to subvert my feminine began to break down later in life
each slip became justice to move towards further feminine expressions in daily life
I would wear female lingerie under my macho clothes when I would go out
What a thrill it was to be dancing on the floor knowing I was a female, yet hidden
It took decades of counseling to overcome my walls of resistance to accept me as a woman
It took years of therapy, research & education to find the ways to reduce my inhibition to reality
By the time I became aware enuf to make physical changes surgically, I was too old & frail
Now I sit here in a man’s in body & a woman in spirit yet… finding time to accept that reality
What to do with my time left???

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