When Will You Learn? Being Transgender Is Not a Choice
My wife has been out for several years. Most of her family has been affirming and very supportive. Even those family members that don't quite understand any of it still try and are willing to learn. Studies show that a person who comes out somewhere under the transgender umbrella with the support from their family has a much better overall experience transitioning. A positive outcome is always ideal, however for some people, transphobia is too ingrained into them. They don't want to learn because they are full of hate, and they become a lost cause.
"UNFORTUNATELY, MY LITTLE SISTER OUTED MY WIFE TO HIM WHEN THIS WAS ALL VERY NEW."
My older brother falls into this category. Unfortunately, my little sister outed my wife to him when this was all very new. Something like three or four months new. I was given all this new knowledge about my partner, and I just needed someone to talk to about it so I can sort out how I was feeling. Bad idea, sometimes I wish I had just kept it to myself. So right away my brother gets insulted that we didn't invite him over immediately for an official sit down after having this revelation. I can picture this whole scene resembling something out of a mob movie. Like he was disrespected and should have been on the top of the list of people that my wife needed to come out to. It is quite comical if you ask me.
Any semi-normal person would have called their sister on the phone and at least to confirm the news first. No, not my sibling, he started sending me nasty transphobic emails followed up by horrible text messages. He threatened to call my wife's family and tell them all what was "going on." He said extremely offensive things that honestly turned my stomach. I was dumbfounded. After all, we were raised in the same house, with the same Catholic faith. What happened to love thy neighbor?
"THERE IS NOTHING MORE AGGRAVATING TO ME THAN A PERSON WHO IS CONTENT TO LIVE WITH ANGER AND IGNORANCE."
There is nothing more aggravating to me than a person who is content to live with anger and ignorance. I knew nothing about the transgender community when my wife first came out to me. Because I love her and she means the world to me, I did some research. Read everything that I could get my hands on and learned how to be a supportive force in her life. It was not difficult, and it cost me nothing. But, instead my brother decided to throw gasoline on the fire. Every person that he runs into on the street, at the mall, in a supermarket, till this day he spews hatred about my wife and I. So he has been cut from my life and the lives of my children. We banned him on social media and blocked him from all of our cell phones. Toxic people have no place in my life.
Imagine having to fight in order to live life as your authentic self. Discrimination being thrown your way in every aspect of life. At your job, the doctor's office, from your neighbors or landlord, and even your family. Through my wife's transition, I have seen this happen over and over. Not only to her, but also to the friends that we have in the community. Every time it breaks my heart. Transgender, non-binary and gender non-conforming folks have to function with so much extra stress in their lives. So how could anyone think that this is a choice anyone would make for themselves?