My transgender teenaged son has colored hair and two nose rings. He loves to wear his favorite band t-shirts, Converse and jeans. This same son also loves to experiment with makeup…and collects funky shoes, both men’s and women’s! He also just came home with a really cute dress from Hot Topic! Yes, my son wears dresses/skirts once in a while and likes to present femininely at times. While this is still odd to my husband and me at times, we let the kid express himself in the way he feels he needs to and this kid is pretty happy these days.
“AS PARENTS WE HAVE TO ALLOW HIM TO FIGURE OUT HIS EXPRESSION AND IN THE HOME IS THE PLACE WHERE THIS SHOULD BEGIN, WHERE HE CAN BE FREE AND SAFE TO EXPLORE.”
He is not a binary presenting transgender boy and that is ok. As parents we have to allow him to figure out his expression and in the home is the place where this should begin, where he can be free and safe to explore. He understands that this is not conforming to the way of the world and that he is opening himself up to ridicule and teasing. He says he gets it. But I am scared for him and I know he does not really get it. He has always been homeschooled and never exposed to the true hate of the outside world. While he does know of things happening around the world against the LGBT community, he has been lucky enough to never really experience it directly. I would hope he never does, but I know in all likelihood he will and it will hurt him deeply. This is the stuff parents try to protect their kids from and fear.
After last night in downtown Dallas, which is way too close to home, I fear even more. I was almost in on that peaceful protest but we actually had therapy and that may have saved us from being harmed.
I cannot imagine what those families are going through today or what Alton Sterling or Philadon Castile’s families are going through. I do know that all of these were senseless losses and our country is so much more than this! I believe #translivesmatter and #lgbtlivesmatter and #blacklivesmatter and I #backtheblue. The horrible actions of a few will not turn me against the many I care about.
We must first be the change we are looking to see on others. Rest in peace all of those lives lost this week. We will keep fighting for equality …..FOR EVERYONE!