Bending your Reality – How the Mind Affects Transition



Mila Madison

Bending your Reality – How the Mind Affects Transition

The butterfly is often symbolized when we talk about transformation or in our case, transition. It goes through a metamorphosis from being a caterpillar to this beautiful creature. It is then able to spread its wings and fly. It fulfills its destiny. It is quite a story when you think about it. Going from one thing to something else. It is not much different from us. I wonder, does the butterfly experience dysphoria when it is in its caterpillar state? It is something to ponder.


For a butterfly to fulfill its destiny, it first needs to go to a very dark place. In the case of the butterfly, that dark place is the cocoon. For us as humans, that dark place is often our own mind. Our thoughts can and will at times betray us. Our negative thoughts can often have a physical effect on us. They can even make us sick or worse, suicidal.

Can your mindset affect your transition? Can it affect how you change? The hormone levels in your body? How about the outcome of your journey as a whole? Absolutely it can. You don’t have to look much further than the placebo effect.


The study of quantum physics tells us that all possibilities exist simultaneously. However it is only one of these many possibilities that we observe at a given time. That observation is what we call our reality. What it tells us is that in transition, every possible outcome that can be thought of actually exists. The choices we make, our pattern of thinking and our thoughts shape that reality.

So let’s apply this to transition. We can choose to look at it from the negative. We can worry that we will never pass. We can worry that we will lose people in our lives or never get insurance coverage for surgery. We can say we were cursed to be transgender. We can worry that society will continue to repress us. We can look at it as a no way out scenario, full of pain and misery. But what about the positive?

To experience the positive, we need to first make the outcome possible in the universe. We have to create it in our mind as possibility that it could exist so it may one day become a reality. We then could make choices and take steps that make it happen. We could not care if we pass or not. We could also take steps to do a better job of passing if it means that much to us. Though we may have lost people, we can look at the fact that we may be better without some of them. You may feel others were worth having and you can make choices that make it possible for them to one day understand. You can be willing to forgive and be open to the possibility that they may change their views in the future. You can create a plan for surgery and know you will get there because you will do everything it takes to make it happen. Instead of a no way out scenario we can look at it as finally being in. We can also take action to raise awareness so that one day society will no longer oppress us.


As a performer who spent a lot of time in front of crowds, I used to experiment with the energy I would project on any given night. I was fascinated with the effect my state of mind would have on the audience as a whole. If I went on stage with a bad outlook, the results were often bad. If I went into it with a positive mindset, and if I was able to genuinely project that feeling, it would often be a great night. I was able to influence the outcome through the choices I made. The energy and thoughts you put forward are powerful.

So what I am saying is that you can affect your destiny. You are not cursed, you are blessed. You are something that is truly unique in the universe. There is only half of a percent or even less of the population that is like you in society. You exist in a time where you can change the world by raising awareness of who we are and fostering acceptance. You can make the choices and take the steps that will put your preferred reality into motion. You are part of the generation that will change how we will be viewed. You decide what will happen to us. You are not a curse, you are a unicorn or maybe even a butterfly. Now go spread your wings.

Stay safe and keep fighting for all of us!

Love and peace,

Mila Madison


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