What's Chapping My Ass this Week. January 6, 2019.

A few things that are rubbing Michael the wrong way: AOC (aka "Sandy"), the Mueller probe & Madonna's butt.

So much going on this week. Really gonna try to keep this short. First? A couple cool things! The Loftus Party podcast is on KLRN radio. It's an internet station (very cool; tons of great shows) and we have a new timeslot! Monday at 7 pm Eastern! And bonus: there's a chat room. Every now and again Gypsy or myself will be hanging out for the show! We can actually interact "LIVE!"

I'll be on The Brian Kilmeade Radio Show tomorrow morning at 10:30 am Eastern. We'll be talking about Kevin Hart and The Golden Globes. Looks like I'll actually have to watch THAT tonight. Lord help me.

People are posting stuff on theloftusparty.com! Woo Hoo! Jump in people! The water is FINE!

Deplorable Show pre-sale tix are available on January 9th! I'll be posting a code for all TLP people that day too. Gets you early access to tickets. Want to make sure you all get first pick. (I sound like fucking Bono! Ha! It's pretty awesome though.)

Okay, here's what's chapping my ass.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. AKA "Sandy:"

This can't be said enough. No one gives a shit about you dancing. No one is trying to stop you from getting your groove on. What we DO have a problem with is your dumbass socialist policies, a giant tax hike that would cripple the economy, and you misrepresenting yourself as a street waif that grew up in the Bronx.

You went to high school in Yorktown. The average price for a home is almost 1/2 a million dollars. Kind of a luxurious upbringing. Your pals all called you Sandy.

So let's just be honest here. You want the image of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez from the Bronx, but you're really Sandy from Rich-Ville. Let's get that straight.

Again: Dancing = Good. Socialism= Bad. Honesty = Good. Lying = Bad.

What DID Russia Actually DO?!

This one still bugs me. And this should be the constant drumbeat of the Right. What did Russia actually do?

We still hear about collusion and the Mueller probe and all that shit. We've been hearing it for YEARS now! But I still don't know how Russia affected the outcome of the election. Honestly. Beyond a couple thousand bucks on some Facebook ads, I really don't know! Do you? What actual CRIME is Mueller investigating?

I think future historians will look back at The Mueller probe and wince. It's high levels of bullshit. Zero crime...huge investigation in search of anything they can find. Ouch.

Madonna's Ass:

Hopefully you saw the pic we posted on our FB page. Madonna on stage with what look like giant implants. I'm REALLY hoping this is a joke. That ol' Madge is having a laugh. Cause if she did get butt implants? That's no bueno.

I have no problem with implants. At all. If you want a bigger butt or bigger boobs? Wonderful! Go for it! You do you! Here's my beef with Madonna doing it: She used to be the poster girl for female confidence.

When she broke out in the music scene she was brash, unapologetic, owned her own sexuality and was half naked most of the time. Hell, she even did her own book of nude photos. (Over-rated BTW. Meh.)

I thought her attitude was awesome, though. Women could be successful AND sexual at the same time. HUZZAH!! It was a pretty cool message. She talked the talk and she walked the walk.

And if a seemingly confident, beautiful woman suddenly get butt implants? That just screams to me that she was lying the whole time. Kinda sad.

Sure, she's not getting any younger. If she wanted a lift and a tuck? Good times! But to see her on stage with a giant Kardashian ass was just sad. She's supposed to make fads, not react to them. Bummer. And furthermore, she had a pretty nice butt back in the day! Why would she mess with that? This is a lose-lose scenario. She looks like a hypocrite AND she might have messed up a perfectly good booty. Sad.

If you'd like to see what Madonna's butt used to look like, go to TheLoftusParty on Instagram. It's there. Every Saturday I post a picture of booty. #SaturdayBooty

Started as a joke but I don't think it'll stop anytime soon. For a couple reasons. First, who is really offended by a butt? And if you ARE? Yikes. Some pics are funny and some pics are hot, but none of them are smut. That'd be boring. There's websites for that stuff, right?

Second reason? Why not? Why does the left own sexuality and hotness? They don't. I just don't think anyone on the Right has the courage to stand up and own it. So fuck em all.

The Loftus Party has ZERO problems with ANYBODY'S sexuality. If you're having fun and your partner is having fun, and nobody is breaking the law? Fuck yes! Go for it! More power to ya!

And if you have any tips? Send em our way! Woo Hoo!

Thanks, M