This Halloween? Forget the Haters. Just WEAR it!

Michael Loftus

It's Halloween, that time of year when all the scary social justice warriors come out and tell the public what costumes they should and shouldn't wear. What's offensive, what's rude, what's unacceptable, blah, blah, blah! And I would like to respond with a hearty "Fuck YOU!"

I've officially had enough. Screw them. Screw all their little bullshit rules. I do NOT care if you're offended. We just want to have fun and that's how it should be.

Some writers might go into a "What's the true meaning of Halloween?" "Why DO we dress up in the first place?" I give precisely zero shits. Honestly. Could NOT care less. This is America and we're doing our annual costume party like we want to. Here's what I do care about: Having a good time. That's about it.

Halloween is about dressing up as something you're NOT, going to parties, and eating like a diabetic with a death wish. (If you get laid? BONUS! We celebrate the slutty witch and the sexy nurse etc.) The entire point of the night is to live out some costumed fantasy. And that's wonderful! If you want to be an Indian, and you're really white guy Steve from accounting? DO it!! The whole SJW Shame game depends on people caring what they think. So lets not care. Let em be offended. Maybe they'll leave and the party will only get BETTER! SJW's tend to be judgmental little dicks anyway. They never add to the fun. They're a drag. So, buh bye!

Side bar: It is perfectly acceptable for Indians to dress up as "White guy Steve from accounting". Don't think you're gonna get lucky, but who knows? You do you. I'm not here to judge.

This little op-ed is for one purpose only: Encourage you to do what YOU want on October 31st. It's the freakiest holiday we got! Don't squander your shot at sexy, slutty, happiness cause "Jenny" is a bitch. No one likes Jenny. She's lonely and probably secretly wishes SHE had the courage to wear what you're wearing!

So this year? Go for it. I am. There is strength in numbers. If we all push back, maybe we can get these losers to lighten the fuck up. They might get mad at first, but honestly, who cares? THEY do. That's about it. Everyone else thinks your culturally inappropriate outfit looks great! We know you're not really Japanese. We know there is NO such thing as a slutty Ninja. But you look great and you're having fun! That's all that matters. (oh, and you might wanna fix your top. We can all see your ninja nipples. unless that's how its supposed to be. In that case? Party ON!!)