-- Support The Loftus Party via our Patreon account! --
The Mueller report is in and my big take away is this: "No new indictments." This is good news. The president isn't a Russian spy. Hooray. But here's the problem and why we want a re-vote. The mainstream media did their very best to convince the country that Trump WAS a spy. To make matters worse, a bunch of people believed it.
So all those people voted to protect the country from evil Russian Trump. Can't blame them. They watched the news and they believed they were voting to protect America. But they weren't. They were getting spoon fed false information. CNN, MSNBC and a host of others kept stories in the news cycle that were based on nothing but rumor and hearsay. Not cool.
Let's say you had to pick between two washing machines and the sales person said one machine was full of robot spiders. You wouldn't buy that one. Then you get home and find out the truth. You bought a shitty machine and the salesman was lying! He talked you out of the good one! You'd want your money back AND the machine you had your eye on in the first place.
That's what happened in 2018. The public was misinformed and now they got their washing machine home and it sucks. To make matters worse, it's full of socialists! And they're not protecting the country from anything. There's no spy in the oval office. People were tricked into voting Democrat.
So I want a do-over. Now that the public is informed, let's do it again. If people are allowed to talk about getting rid of the Electoral College, we can discuss mid-term re-votes. Let's go again, but this time without all the emotion that the media stirred up.
Now some of you might not be able to turn off your emotions that easily. You're probably a Democrat. So we'll propose this as well: Democrats aren't allowed to vote in the do-over election. It sounds harsh, because it is. A lot of you seem gullible and you might vote Democrat again. Not cool.
Democrats voted to protect us from a bogeyman that didn't exist, and now we are going to protect America from socialism (that DOES exist) by having a phantom mid-term election do-over.
Here's another proposal: We won't announce the day to vote anywhere but Fox News. If you miss it? No biggie. It's all gonna be good. We're just protecting our fragile Republic. From you.
Better yet, let's just say we already had the re-vote and Republicans swept. That's probably the best idea. That way no one feels left out.
Best part is, the country is better off and you don't have to miss work! That's a solution!
Now all we have to do is inform Nancy Pelosi, AOC and the others that their services are no longer necessary. They were hired under false pretenses.
(Hopefully it's obvious that we're joking. However, we made a pretty solid point. Nobody's actually asking for a re-vote. Unless you think we have a legit case. Ha!)