Taylor Swift Needs To Calm Down

Michael Loftus

-- Support The Loftus Party via our Patreon account! --

It was bound to happen. The handwriting was on the wall after Taylor Swift jumped into politics a while back. I cannot even remember who she endorsed. Pretty sure they lost though. Taylor realized she had power and chose to use it. She woke up one day and said, "Yeah, I should use my celebrity to right these social injustices." That's where she lost me. Sad really. For a while I thought she would just continue to rise above this incredibly boring and predictable kind of thing.

Now don't get it twisted, I was on team Taylor. For a while she was standing up to streaming services and trying to get better deals for musicians and artists who actually create music. That was fantastic. I'm all for artists getting paid for their creations. That's cool as shit.

It's when Ms. Swift decided to jump into politics that rubbed me the wrong way. It's the big gamble, right? Alienate half the audience. Not a lot of people can afford to do that. Evidently Taylor thinks she can now. That's a bummer.

So here we go. Taylor Swift has decided we all "Need to Calm Down." I cannot roll my eyes any harder and expect them to keep working. It's so insanely boring and preachy. Not a good look for anyone. But let's try to glean something from this song and video shall we?

Here's what Taylor will say. Something like, "It's just a fun video with a good message about people who waste their time on negativity."

Here's what I'll say: "You just wasted MILLIONS of dollars making a song and video that preached negativity!!" Did no one tell her that?! Fuckin' hell! You literally made a video ridiculing people who don't think like you!!

Oh! And extreme hypocritical bonus points are awarded to portraying people who don't agree with you as illiterate hillbillies. That was some complete garbage. Way to go Taylor. How long did it take you to come up with THAT? Ironically, you said it yourself in the lyrics to your own song: "Must've taken all night."

So she decides to teach us all about negativity by being super negative. If you don't agree with Taylor's world view you must be a moron. Thanks for that super original spin. Thanks for actively making the problem worse. I'm SURE no one will be offended. Right?

More lyrics: "Why are you mad? When you could be GLAAD?" It's probably because pop stars actively make fun of me for being a free thinker. That MIGHT be a reason. Give me a couple million dollars a month and a crew of people who agree with me and I'll make videos too. It'll be fun!

I honestly don't want to devote anymore energy to this. Just wanted to mark the occasion. This is the date when a pretty decent pop star decided to make fun of people who disagreed with her. She used to be on the outside looking in, but now Taylor has become the cool kid. Telling us all how to think and feel. It's a drag.

But it was bound to happen. Power tends to go to people's heads.

-- Follow The Loftus Party on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook! --