Brigitte Nielsen--of Rocky IV fame--is about to have child number V at the ripe old age of 54. Nielsen is part of a menopausal mommy trend which has been growing steadily in the new millennium.

At more than five decades old, Nielsen won’t be the most senior woman to ever burp out a kid. Currently, a 66-year-old MILF holds the record for being the oldest woman to give birth. (Insert “mom and baby can share diapers” joke here.) But any woman who can use an AARP discount on baby goods is perhaps too old to have a baby.

Is there a point when a woman must stop having kids because of her age? Men can have babies into their 70’s, but should women be encouraged to do the same? No! Let’s be honest, if you’re a 75-year-old woman and you want to breastfeed, you’re going to have to put the baby on the floor.

As a 52-year-old woman, I am completely against senior women having babies. For one thing, it takes away my “I’m too old” excuse to have a child. I don’t need somebody saying to me, “Well, Janet Jackson had a kid at 50.” To which I’d reply, “Did she have a nasty boy or a nasty girl?”

For women over the age of 50, a surprise pregnancy would be extremely rare. Woman of that age who want to get pregnant usually need in vitro fertilization or some other medical procedure to make it happen. And that’s where I have a problem.

If a 54-year-old woman suddenly and inexplicably finds herself pregnant and wants to carry the child, good for her. But to create the situation is a bit selfish.

The eldest of Nielsen's children is 34-years-old. When her new baby reaches that same age, Nielsen will be 88!

As somebody who is in the early stages of menopause, I can’t imagine how a woman in such a state would have the necessary energy to deal with an infant or a toddler. Night sweats will have the new mother up more often than the baby. The kids first words will be, “Mommy wet.”

Many women would argue that if a man can have a child later in life, a woman should too. After all, Mick Jagger had a child at 73. True. But the woman who gave birth to Mick Jagger’s child was only 29. (It’s still creepy but she’ll be doing most of the work... Or the nanny will.) But that poor child will still have to watch a father waste away to nothing. (In all fairness, Mick Jagger actually wasted away to nothing in 1979.)

My mom was only 46 when she died. I understand that having children at a young age does not guarantee you’ll be around to see your own kid grow old. But having a child at 66 (as the world’s oldest mom did) does guarantee it won’t happen…unless you live to be 126.

I wish Nielsen the very best in her pregnancy, I really do. A geriatric mom can experience plenty of complications so I pray the birth goes smoothly. But I sincerely hope this trend of late in life pregnancies ends. Just because modern medicine can create these miracles doesn’t mean it should.

If a woman longs for a child later in life then maybe she should consider adopting an older child. Or, if she already has children, just waits to be a grandmom.

When you hit 50, a woman’s body wants to shut the baby factory down. Listen to your body. Leave the 2 AM feedings for the old guys with the young wives.