'Back to the Future' remake? Just say NO!

Michael Loftus

Let's not even entertain the notion of a Back to the Future remake. It's a bad idea. We all know that Hollywood is in the business of making money and normally we're cool with that. But when the ONLY reason is to make a pile of cash, sometimes America finds it, well...unseemly. And that's all this remake or reboot would be. A mad dash for a pile of moolah.

Why would movie execs want to remake a classic like this? Easy. It's the math. Back to the Future was a giant hit in 1985. So you can bank on people at least wanting to take a peek at a remake. Then add in two sequels, already written and ready to go? Boom. Now you got a little franchise. And that's what it's all about. Why are there so many Super Hero movies? Cause comic books never end. Built in franchise. An endless source of revenue. And now that computer graphics have caught up, the special effects look great and you can actually imagine that super heroes are real and make great movies.

That's unfortunately one of the big problems with Back to the Future remake ideas. The original effects don't suck. The movie is brilliantly written, directed and acted. Iconic roles for Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd! There's no way to improve it. The only reason to do a remake is to use movie lovers as a cash machine. And we don't care for that. Yes, I realize that's all we really are, but at least try to hide it a little. When Hollywood is this blatant I feel like a whore. So don't do it.

And don't make some bullshit tribute movie either. They suck. Remember the shot for shot remake of Psycho? It sucked. I know it killed the plans for a series of Alfred Hitchcock "remakes," but oh well. It was a shitty idea and I'm glad it failed.

Here's the solution. I'm not sure Studio heads will like it, because it demands a working knowledge of cinema and a genuine love of movies, but here goes: If you want to remake movies, go back a little farther. There are tons of so-so movies that only failed because the FX sucked. The stories were great, but the effects were so shitty it took you out of the movie. I'll list a couple to get you moving in the right direction.

The Last Starfighter. Remember that one? A kid in a trailer park is good at a video game. Turns out it's an alien simulator to test people's abilities to pilot spaceships. There's a space war and aliens need help. The kid can save the galaxy! Remake THAT!

Logan's Run. Fun idea for a movie. Effects? Ouch.

Both of these also have the possibilities to be franchises as well.

It's occurred to me, I may be giving away some quality ideas. So I think I'll stop.

So don't remake Back to the Future. It's still wonderful. Remake something that needs to be remade!

Comments (2)
No. 1-1

No remake! I can't for the life of me imagine who of today's actors would do as well as Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd. And , I'll freely admit it may be because I associate them both with their great body of work prior to Back to the Future. Who can forget Alex P. Keaton and "Reverend" Jim Ignatowski? And, then, there they were with the DeLorean at 88 m.p.h.-- Whoosh! No one will top that, and they shouldn't try.