‘Testing the Waters’ - An Essay On Being A Woman In The Trump Era

Sarah Lawlor / Copyright / Permission granted to post

To Intellectualist Sarah Lawlor, being an American woman during the Trump era has become emotionally exhausting.

What’s happening in the country right now must feel like another temporary political trend where we get to flex our Facebook muscles. In truth, it is emotionally exhausting, but we keep bringing it up, even knowing most will hear or read the word ‘woman’, roll their eyes and keep scrolling.

The fact is, to the majority of women who have ever been pregnant, wanted to be pregnant, it is deeply personal. If you think that is just another band wagon to jump on, then you are sorely mistaken. To feel a life inside of you, whether it is to miscarry your first pregnancy, so excited then to be completely destroyed when the life disappears.... then questioned?

To giving birth to a daughter after nine months of daily physical sickness, pain, and discomfort, who is effortlessly having her rights stripped from her as we speak, living in fear beginning the moment she starts her first period. It’s a mistake to think that a woman feels nothing when she has to make the life altering, earth shattering, choice to not drown in the mess made by a man who lacks the ability to understand a genuine partnership and its relation to sex, many of whom are making these choices for us while hiding their mistresses in the closet down the hall, systematically paying for PlanB or an abortion because they are, of course, the exception to their own rule. With no control she has a burden. She has to “man up” and do what she needs to do to take care of the children she already has, because no one else has the emotional maturity to do this. Because she understands that the life or lives she has already created are not only counting on her, but they are the actual love/s of her life, not a man. This changes a woman, but it is being spoken about like she is not the subject, or even the pronoun.

We do not posture, or take power like sport; in most cases, we simply want to put our hands on our own skin and know that it is our own. To be told otherwise by our government feels like the most un-American act ever committed. These choices do not belong to my neighbors husband, but that is essentially what you are telling me.

The Handmaid is this symbol, she is only a sexualized object of child bearing age, being told what to do with her body in the name of Christianity. These are the archaic, “circumstantial” things that we feel in our core and know how dangerous the power trip can become. This panic is not a trend, to so many intelligent women, it is indicative of a regime testing the waters to see how far they can go with control.

  • SC Lawlor