Televangelist: Jesus Was Vaccinated Against Flu So We Don’t Have To Be

Gloria Copeland told her viewers that they won't catch the flu, because "Jesus himself gave us the flu shot".

Televangelist Gloria Copeland told her viewers this week not to worry about catching the flu. Why? Because Jesus provided his followers with a metaphorical flu shot that will protect them during this particularly dangerous flu season.

Via the Friendly Atheist:

“Listen partners, we don’t have a flu season,” Gloria Copeland said. “And don’t receive it when somebody threatens you with, ‘Everybody is getting the flu.’ We’ve already had our shot, He bore our sicknesses and carried our diseases. That’s what we stand on.”

Praying for those who may already have the flu, Copeland proclaimed, “Flu, I bind you off the people in the name of Jesus. **Jesus himself gave us the flu shot, He redeemed us from the curse of flu.” Those who don’t have the flu, she promised, can protect themselves by simply declaring, “I’ll never have the flu.”

“Inoculate yourself with the word of God,”** Copeland advised.

At the end of her video, Copeland invited everyone to attend a free faith-healing seminar, apparently just in case they catch the flu after all.

Read more here.

Comments
No. 1-15
MrSceptical
MrSceptical

'Metaphorical flu shot'. Lady needs to see a Psychiatrist.

FunkyToenail
FunkyToenail

One of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Jaydee666
Jaydee666

This right here is the problem with America. Delusion and simplistic, childish thinking have replaced the purpose religion might have in lives. I'm not religious. I was raised loosely in an Irish Catholic environment, but decided in my early teens I could not buy it.

However, I do understand the drive toward religion and gods over human history. People looked for meaning, guidance, comfort, and especially community and mutual support. So they invented a multiplicity of gods. So far, so good. But unscrupulous people realized early that taking over ownership of god would allow them to manipulate the people. This has been done many ways: by order of the dictator, by military overthrow and rule, and more covertly by withholding education to prevent knowledge, by granting food, land, grace, everlasting life, forgiveness, money, etc in return for 'belief.'

In America, religion has reached its most insidious and repulsive point yet. People rise out of nowhere, proclaim themselves 'pastors' and start taking in money in the name of Christ in exchange for promises of eternal life, riches, athletic success, immunity from the flu, etc. Secular education is withheld, science is ridiculed if it questions dogma, and the victims are indoctrinated with fear; of hell, of death, of 'non-believers,' of god, of Satan, of life in general. UNLESS they blindly follow the leader. The leader in most cases is banking millions from the 'faithful.' The victims are too frightened to question the leaders, lest they be lost - sent to hell. The leaders have become more and more audacious and spectacularly mendacious; they now claim to speak to God personally, and God answers them! So . . . they speak FOR God, and Beware All Ye Who Doubt God (or Pat, or Joel, or Richard, or Gloria, or . . . ).

America, you need to wake up and grow up, just look to your communities for help, forget all this 'God Saves' stuff, throw out the pretenders, and take care of yourselves and others like responsible adults. You're not 'born again'; that makes you a child in a world of fairy tales. You are functioning adults in the real world - act like it.

And get vaccinated. Jesus will not save you from the flu.

Kholofelo Maloma
Kholofelo Maloma

Most preachers speak in parables. Each time she mentions “flu” I pictured in my mind any “seasonal life problems”. Any life problem that could be seasonal or comes every now and then and everyone is always on the lookout for.

It could differ from one person to another but as for me, my flus are healed.

Alliemo1
Alliemo1

It's true, guys. And as always, according to YOUR faith, be ut unto you!