We Democrats having enough on our plates, what with needing to gain Senate and House seats in 2018, as well as getting more Democrats elected in state legislatures and governorships to reverse Republican gerrymandering, is not going to stop us from speculating.
Below I share my perspective on an abbreviated list of contenders. Since those on the far left of the political spectrum are increasingly making their voices heard and have an especially high standard, I speculate on their take, as well.
What I Think: She has been a standard-bearer of the left. Even though I’ll never get over this election, I still want to see a woman president. At least up until recently, she has been beloved by Bernie Sanders supporters and Hillary voters appreciate her. Compared to possible candidates Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders, at 71, she’ll be a young ‘un.
What Far Left May Think: “Yes, we loved her, but she wasn’t there for Bernie in the primary. Beginning to have doubts if she’s really progressive.”
What I Think: He’s not a woman so I take points off for that. He is a great speaker, though. I’m not a fan of his education reform stances nor his defending of Bain Capital during the Romney-Obama race, but if I can’t have someone with a double-X chromosome, I’ll take him.
What Far Left May Think: “He is owned by Wall Street. He’s a corporate Democratic shill. Not progressive.”
What I Think: Though she’s only in her first term in the Senate, so was Obama and he worked out. She is dynamic and may energize women and minorities. I’m already behind her, especially so I can hear bros say, “You just want her because she’s a woman! And black! And Indian!” I look forward to also hearing from them: “You just vote with your vagina and white guilt.” So? There are worse things to vote with.
What Far Left May Think: “Was California’s top prosecutor. Just not progressive.”
What I Think: She has stood out as having voted against most of Trump’s nominees. If Hillary wasn’t “likable” (never mind her general election opponent is despicable), Gillibrand may fit the bill. Her likability is off the charts. She’s basically the Meg Ryan of the Senate with more gravitas. Though, I can imagine voters and the media’s complaint will now be: “She’s too adorable.”
What Far Left May Think: “As a Congressperson, she was more conservative than she is as a Senator since she represented a moderate district in upstate New York. Not a real progressive.”
What I Think: Her name has been floated around as she is an American icon and, if a reality show star could be elected, surely a talk show host can. She is never going to run, but imagining she will does make for some clickable headlines.
What Far Left May Think: “She has a lot of money, and therefore, is not progressive.”
What Far Left May Think: “Was too focused on identity politics and may not have been a true progressive.”
What I Think: Oh, leave her alone! She’s not falling for “Run, Hillary, we’re behind you” again. Besides, in between getting standing ovations at Broadway showsand watching reruns of The Good Wife, she’s probably sipping tea, sitting back, and thinking, “You thought I was almost as bad as Trump? Well, enjoy yourselves.”
What Far Left May Think: “Do we have to say it? Not progressive! I hate her! But I wish she’d run again, because I don’t want to stop hating her!”
(I have noticed that the far left just can’t quit Hillary. The fact that they’re still on a full rampage about her makes me think that they’re secretly in love with her and think she’s a “nasty woman” in the best possible way.)
My take: He’ll be in his late 70s. As there are too many open wounds from the primary, we need someone new. Besides, I think it’s counterproductive and divisive that he spends most of his time criticizing Democrats and not Republicans. On the plus side, though, I like breaking barriers and he is Jewish, even though he rarely says so.
Hilary Schwartz is a comedian and writer based in NYC with love (and hate) for politics. She is a regular contributor to Political Storm.