Chelsea Handler “Cancelled”

Another one bites the dust. Another one bites the dust. And another one gone and another one gone.

Cancelled? Or “cancelled”? It matters not, but it is comical to speculate that Netflix is giving failed comedienne Chelsea Handler a private axe. This is the part where I gloat about being an independent unpaid dime-a-dozen blogger. Nobody pays me, so I’ll write speculative Hollywood garbage. Real fake news. And yet…somehow more original and truer than the ever-growing list of constantly speculative bloggers that masquerade as journalists. Let’s take a second and review whom we know to be “fake news”:

PoliticusUSA, Slate, Huffington Post, Salon, Jezebel, Fusion, GQ, philly.com, cleveland.com, The Chicago Tribune, WIRED, AV Club, ESPN, Tech Crunch, Rolling Stone, The Root, The Atlantic, The Mary Sue, polygon, and of course, The Washington Post, where the phrase “Democracy dies in darkness” embarrassingly haunts the top of every article.

Some Hollywood insiders are making the claim Chelsea Handler made a big mistake by severing her ties to Hollywood superstar Jennifer Anniston. Apparently, Chelsea Handler owes a great deal of her success to a friendship struck up with Anniston roughly a decade ago. I tend to think that there is some truth to this statement, but Anniston is an aging celebrity that is getting scarcer work these days. What they ended up having a falling out over I couldn’t possibly care less about, and I’m certain that the public reason is much different from the real reason.

For the record, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix show stunk. None of the material was being fawned over by the above-listed websites, and Handler’s only meme-worthy moments were her threatening to move to Canada if Donald Trump became President, only to later tearfully blubber about how the country somehow needed her to continue doing her show after he won (Videos at bottom!). Her numbers were too far below the other Late Nite Trump Bashers, such as Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Kimmel. She wasn’t even beating the lightweights like Samantha Bee and Trevor Noah.

But now begs the big question: is anyone else suspicious of the official story as told by Chelsea Handler and the fake news media? They all seem very intent on making it a matter of public record that Chelsea Handler decided to end the show so that she could pursue political activism? Chelsea Handler somehow thinks that leaving her Netflix show to become a political activist is somehow going to make her a bigger celebrity? It just doesn’t add up, and it sounds like a really weak attempt to save her the embarrassment of admitting her show was a two-season flop.

Chelsea Handler is no Dave Chappelle. The Chappelle Show, formerly a blockbusting moneymaker and ratings juggernaut for Comedy Central, also only lasted two seasons. Comedian Dave Chappelle chose to end the show during a shoot because he had an epiphany and realized his comedy was doing more harm than good. Although it was hard to swallow then, time has proven Dave Chappelle was right.

We could be in for a real laugh at Chelsea Handler’s pitiful attempt at political activism. According to her official excuse for being “cancelled”, Chelsea wants to go out to deep red parts of the country and try to understand and connect with the middle class, as if they are some kind of intergalactic alien race. Call me skeptical, but this would mean that Chelsea is going to visit places like West Texas, Alabama, the Appalachians, West Virginia, Kentucky, South Dakota, etc. I highly doubt we see Chelsea Handler in any of these locations.

And then what? Will she be a professional spokesperson for these lame celebrity-fueled activist rallies/marches, like the Slut Walk? Will she have swag for sale? Will she be hocking a crappy book?

Interestingly, we will find out whether or not she was wholly responsible for the decision to end her show by the sincerity (or lack thereof) of her political activism career. This is, of course, predicated upon the belief that she will actually make good on her word to start becoming politically active in conservative areas. Personally, I’m doubtful that she will even make good on even that much, and will probably write a dumb book first so that she at least has something to sell. Maybe an appearance on the equally ratings-starved Megyn Kelly show. I just don’t see it going well.

Is this the new norm? Have we not already forgotten the Inside Amy Schumer debacle? The show was not only a ratings disaster, but was caught plagiarizing material from other comedy shows. Also, there was some sinister behavior from Schumer over the alleged termination of the show’s writer Kurt Metzger. Schumer insisted that she “walked away” from the show, and that it is on a long hiatus.

It seems to be the new norm to let celebrities make up dumb reasons to avoid the embarrassment of admitting that their shows have been cancelled. Tim Allen didn’t get that kind of courtesy when his show Last Man Standing was cancelled despite being a ratings hit. The word on the street in Hollywood is that Allen’s show was cancelled because he appeared at President Trump’s inauguration. Be that as it may, expect the lightweights like Samantha Bee and Trevor Noah to concoct ridiculous reasons for leaving their respective shows in the near future. There are too many comedians doing the same anti-Trump act. Colbert, Kimmel, Noah, Bee, Meyers, Oliver, Maher, and SNL, to name a few, have oversaturated anti-Trump comedy, making it bland and boring. Now that Schumer and Handler have been picked off, the pressure is starting to build. Who will be the next one to bite the dust?

Another one gone. And another one gone. And another one bites the dust…

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