It is 10:00 p.m. and my eyelids are beginning to droop as I fix a typo in my first paragraph. My son calls from his bedroom,"Mother! I ask my husband. I have a deadline first thing in the morning, and I must get this completed.
"She is busy working, sweetie," he informs him.
A little lurches. A picture of my son sitting in a therapist's office flashes before my eyes.
I know. However, was something that I never anticipated, and is real.
By the time I was young, I dreamed of becoming a mother. I figured I'd do the job for a while, then get married, have children, and make motherhood my gig.
I did work for some time, and then I got married, but we could afford for me to not work when our first baby came along. So I started a little editing business from home, which enabled me to keep my professional skills and to earn a little money. So I started doing tutoring, after a time, I wanted routine work. I put my hours and it worked well.
And I have had at least seven jobs, usually more than one at a time. It has been great. I really do get the best of all worlds -- contributing to the family income, being able to be during the day, keeping my foot professionally, and getting to make my own program. I feel fortunate to have been able to find work all these years, I could do from home.
However, it is not all rainbows and butterflies.
Working from home means literally doing my job within my house . There is no actual separation between my private and professional life, no obviously set times when I am "on" and "off" one or another. That flexibility is my downfall, although I really like being able to create my own schedule. It is too easy to blur the lines between home and work, if I am not disciplined with my time, which isn't exactly my strong suit. I often work during the day and evening, making it feel like I am working though I only work part-time hours.
And I worry that is what my children are currently seeing . I am home, but I am not"there" a great deal of the time. They see me working, but I am on the computer, which does not necessarily translate to"work" for them. They know Mom is not able to give her whole attention to them.
They are not valuable in that area. They appear to get up, when I get up before they awaken early for some hours. They call me or need a heart-to-heart talk late when I wait till they for some work hours .
You know how it is, although I can enter my office. Mother's in the house when Mother's in the house. I get around this issue by going to work to do. But I can not do that daily.
And then there is The House. Through time, I have found that keeping children busy without resorting to displays involves some degree of mess. Busy kids makes happy children which in return makes it so Mommy can work uninterrupted, but it also means more cleanup time and energy for a Mother.
I have piles of laundry the dishes that continue so on, and getting dirty. All these are with, daily, but if you work at home, these things tug at you. I am part of this mess and contributing to it, while at the exact same time. The home gets placed on the back burner -- and then it gets forgotten and boils over and sets off the fire alarm since kids and work take priority.
It isn't all bad. I never need to miss anything and I really do get to enjoy plenty of time. I have wireless security cameras in place so I don’t have to get up all of the time to check my kids, just on few occasions. I've been forced to learn how to compartmentalize my period and set. I've had to learn to not feel guilty for working in the front of my children, though admittedly this and I still struggle . My husband pulls on his weight, so the advantages outweigh the challenges.
I would not trade my life that is work-from-home, and I am incredibly grateful that I have that liberty. As a mother, you have the worst, but also the best of all worlds.